Daniel Goleman: Are You Aware of Your Self-Defeating Habits?

"When I was little my father would yell at me and call me stupid when I made a mistake. I knew he loved me, but it left me feeling I had some deadly, hidden flaw," the head of a successful family-owned business in southern Europe confided.

And, I heard from someone who works for that company president, that’s just what he does when he has to give negative feedback: he shouts, blames, and criticizes people. It leaves them feeling as he felt: incompetent.

Such self-defeating work habits often stem from our learning early in life, and are so deeply ingrained that we repeat them over and over, despite the sometimes obvious ways in which they do not work.

Daniel Goleman

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